This week I have been thinking a lot about who I want to become. What I want to make of my mission. When I step off the plane 14 1/ - who will I be?
In zone training this week President told us that we must
"leave it all on the field.
And hold nothing back."
He said, "your family should have to pick you up in an ambulance because you have worked so hard you are going to die" hahaha he is the best and he very well might end up in an ambulance by the time he is done...
I love that thought and recommitted myself to it - working so hard that I nearly die.
I must return with no regrets. It is never too late to be who you want to be. It is never too late to be the greatest missionary you can be. SO then my question was HOW?? How do I work that hard? What do I need to change? What more can I do?
The answer is quite simple - ASK GOD. That's exactly what we need to do if ever we have a question. Ask God - he has all the answers.
And so I did - I learned
I must be faithful because that is our only hope. I must put my faith in Jesus Christ.
I must be obedient. There is no other option.
I must be consecrated. Give my heart to the Lord and let him make of me more than I could ever become on my own.
I must be committed, committed to change my nature.
I must have a positive attitude. Then everything will work out, and I know that is true.
I was then lead to a talk called, The Fourth Missionary - it is unbelievable. If possible - all you future missionaries PLEASE find it and read it. It talks about the need to change in order to gain something from your service. We must be the fourth missionary. The missionary who does the hard parts not because he is forced to because he loves it but because he knows that it is the will of our Father and it is "the only logical thing to do". The fourth missionary is overcome with his desire to serve the Lord. The fourth missionary has charity. The fourth missionary's nature is changed and he benefits greatly from his service. As he loses himself in the service of God - he finds himself. His purpose is clearer and greater than ever. I loved it and I know NOW who I need to be and what I need to do to get there.
I love the Book of Mormon with all my heart. I started reading it again and was so touched by Nephi's willingness to be obedient. He followed every single commandment that the Lord gave him. Even the hard ones and the ones that he probably wasn't that excited to do (like returning to Jerusalem 2 different times with his brothers who wanted to hurt him...) He simply knew his duty was to God and that through obedience he would be blessed. He is an example to me. I also love that he "frankly forgave" his brothers though they sought to take away his life. He is a hero. He had faith, he was obedient, and he worked hard.
Things are..going..here in good old Fredericton. The river finally thawed and it is gorgeous!! Easter was beautiful. The sun was shining and we handed out Easter eggs with chocolate and scriptures (john ) in them.
It was fun and a little awkward - some people were frightened. One lady this week told us she was soooo glad that we could get married even though we are "sisters". Another man answered his door with no pants on .. seriously... and yesterday a man asked, "can i like give you a hug" (he had a lot of interesting questions and thought it was cool and admirable what we were doing) - I told him no but that he could shake our hands..hahah so he did and we left. SO many interesting people and experiences. I love it all!
Most importantly I was thankful for the opportunity we had to celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior. I am so thankful for Him. I know that He lives and leads His church today. And that through Him we can return and live with our Heavenly Father again.
I love being a missionary. And I love all of you